Leading From a Father’s Perspective

Let me be clear. I love my work, I am passionate about our downtown, and I get fired up about seeing my team and our local small businesses succeed. But job #1 for me is being the dad and husband that my children and wife deserve. Let me also say that balancing those competing demands has been a genuine challenge, one I’m still very much working through.

Parents, and especially dads: as we go into this Father’s Day weekend, I imagine you can relate. As I contemplated what to share in this week’s edition, a few lessons that I have learned bubbled to the surface that I’d like to share. I have learned a lot about parenting from being a leader, and I have learned a lot about leadership from being a parent.

Lesson 1: More is caught than taught. Nothing humbled me as a dad like when my kids did something I didn’t approve of, and I knew exactly where they learned it. I see it in my team sometimes too. For better or worse, people will follow my example before they will follow my words.

Lesson 2: When emotion is high, wisdom is low. Nothing guarantees that I will regret something I say and have to apologize for more than having a conversation, typing a text, or sending an email when I’m emotional. A five minute pause and a walk around the block while I process with a level head has never led me to the wrong decision.

Lesson 3: Asking questions is better than giving answers. This is twofold for me. Sometimes it’s easy to jump to conclusions, and asking questions helps me get the bigger picture and the facts straight. And whether it’s a kid or a team member, everyone learns better when they discover wisdom for themselves rather than having it handed to them.

Lesson 4: Relationships cover a lot of sins. As a dad and as a leader, I haven’t always gotten it right. But when I prioritize my kids and prioritize my people, they cut me some slack when I’m short, not fully present, or make the wrong call, as long as it’s the exception and not the rule. In our home, our stated goal is that our kids will want to spend time with us when they no longer have to. That’s the bar. It applies at work too.

Lesson 5: To be clear is to be kind. I heard a term recently that I loved: “warm strict.” I aspire to hold people to the expectations of the household or the business, but in a way that shows I care for them just as much as I do the outcome. Holding people accountable doesn’t require being a jerk about it.

Lesson 6: Give people grace, and don’t forget the same goes for yourself. I’m pretty intense, and I set a high bar for excellence, especially of myself. But we all fall short. We all mess up. When I believe the best about myself, lead with big vision, and believe the best about others, good things tend to happen.

To every dad reading this, I hope this Father’s Day weekend gives you a moment to exhale and consider what you’re building at home. The projects, the businesses, the blocks we’re trying to revitalize, none of it means much without the people we’re doing it for. My kids have made me a better leader. Leading has made me a better dad. I’m grateful for both, and I’m grateful for this community we get to build together. Happy Father’s Day.